New conversation urged about suicide prevention

On Board Online • November 19, 2012

By Merri Rosenberg
Special correspondent

When suicide strikes a school community, should flags be flown at half-mast? Is it appropriate to allow people to post comments on the district’s Facebook page?

Although it’s not often easy for school personnel to know the best approach to console those who are grieving, a new set of guidelines may help them respond to suicides as well as take appropriate steps to prevent them. This fall, the National Action Alliance for Suicide

Prevention and the U.S. Surgeon General released a National Strategy for Suicide Prevention.

“This is relevant for schools,” said Linda Bakst, deputy director of policy services for NYSSBA. “A lot of school districts have serious concerns. Suicide is traumatic for everyone involved. When schools do have a tragedy like that, they need guidance.”

It’s not just a job for school counselors, said Christine Miara of the Suicide Prevention Resource Center. “Teens are at risk of suicide. Within schools, everyone has a role to play. Staff and students need to be able to identify students who are vulnerable.”

Students need to feel they belong and know where to get help, Miara said. “The key action is having this culture that promotes connectedness, where students feel a sense of connection to the school staff and feel they have support. Everybody needs to know who the mental health contact is.”

Because bullying is considered a risk factor for suicides, a suicide prevention plan may fit in with districts’ efforts to comply with New York’s new Dignity for All Students Act.

“Local suicides of students had a bullying component,” said Kathy Miller, a certified Olweus Bullying Prevention Program trainer at Onondaga-Cortland-Madison BOCES in Syracuse. “This is helping to raise people’s awareness. If students are being bullied and harassed, you see more people stepping up, speaking out and taking action. There are no statistics on student suicide related to past bullying, but it’s significant enough that you have to pay attention. School has to be a safe place for everybody.”

Avoiding glamorization

So what’s recommended?

Schools shouldn’t fly flags at half-mast, according to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center’s Miara and the publication After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools (see Resources at right). The idea is to balance students’ need to mourn their friend or classmate while avoiding any inadvertent glamorization of the suicide. Offering students poster board and markers to share positive memories or offer appropriate condolences to the family, with the posters given to the family after a few days, can be one possibility.

As far as online memorial pages and message boards, that can be another option – provided, of course, the school has the permission and support of the deceased student’s family. Again, the pages should be carefully monitored to avoid any glamorization of the death and not remain active after 30-60 days after the death.

Miara’s other suggestions, based on the National Strategy for Suicide Prevention, include the following:

• “Have supports in place for students who are at risk or in crisis. Make sure that help is available. Teachers and guidance counselors are reluctant to identify students if they don’t know where to send them.
• “Everybody should be clear about what to do when there is a suicide, that there are steps in place. That’s where kids who are vulnerable might be affected.”
• “Train staff and parents to recognize and identify students who may be at risk, and know how to respond … You want to convey a message of help and hope, that it’s not a hopeless situation – there is help out there and people do recover.

Importance of peer support

Peer support can help. Watertown High School has a “Stay Strong Club” that was launched by 15-year-old sophomore Dani L. Fleming as a support group for students who struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts.

“This is a place for kids to let off steam,” said Fleming, who had the concept for this organization even before Watertown High School graduate Erin K. Foley committed suicide last spring. “It’s not about being a counselor. My idea is that there would be someone they could trust. If they had a bad day, they could talk to someone who would be able to bring them to a counselor. We don’t expect everyone to come to a club meeting and talk about their problem. It’s to talk about things they don’t normally talk about.”

Fleming is a fan of a non-profit group called To Write Love on Her Arms that is focused on suicide, addiction and depression. According to the group’s website (twloha.com), “the vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.”

“Everything we talk about is so taboo,” said Fleming. “You need someone willing to say ‘it’s okay to feel that way,’ that they matter. I believe a lot in conversation. It’s easier to hide behind a phone or text, where it’s really hard to tell what’s going on. You need to find a way to get a worthwhile conversation going.”

Ultimately, of course, keeping students safe is part of the larger conversation currently going on in schools around the state, and around the country.

“It’s everybody’s responsibility, like the Dignity Act,” said Terrence Hinson, district chairman of guidance for the Northport-East Northport Union Free School District in Suffolk County. “Kids are struggling everywhere you go. Kids struggle with coping skills. The Dignity Act is about prevention, how do we stop bullying and harassment. Schools will have to talk about suicide prevention.”